The gamechanger is being ready to ask: “What can I learn? What does this hurt-betrayal- wronged give me? What is the gift?” Because every single experience brings with it a gift. It brings with it the gift of allowing you to take your power back. It can be difficult to think of certain situations this way. And if you can’t wrap your brain around this concept, then you are allowing your ego to be involved. Sometimes our ego is so attached to the identity of “the hurt one” or “the betrayed one” and all the stories it has to tell, that it resists the idea of finding freedom through forgiveness and letting go. You probably are not even aware that this is happening. Your ego is not aware there is freedom on the other side of forgiveness. So, you might have to take baby steps.
Just start by wondering. Wonder what gift(s) you can find in this hurt or betrayal or misfortune. Sit quietly and wonder. And when you do this, be sure and first give your ego some time to voice its ideas and opinions. Give it a voice so it can let go. After you have done this, now ask your Spirit “What is the Gift in this? What is the lesson?”. Sit quietly and wonder – from your heart. What is your Spirit trying to teach you?
Once you know the lesson and gift in a situation, you start to let go. It helps to find a friend who will listen and not feed your ego – just listen. If you don’t have a friend to do this with, talk out loud to yourself. It helps to get it out of your head. If you like to journal, write it all down.
Remember, the gift is the lesson. What is the lesson? Once you know the lesson, you can stop repeating it or experiencing it. You really only need to learn a lesson once. Then you can be free. The message/lesson can be difficult to understand and come to terms with, but it will eventually be freeing. You just need to be ready to see the gift. This is an important part of forgiveness. You can’t let go and put things in the past until you are ready to see the gift. Wait until you are genuinely available and ready. Be patient.