We all have had those situations in life where we feel like we are a victim. Where in some situation or experience - someone said or did something that left us feeling powerless, bruised, deflated, hurt, taken advantage of, disrespected or offended. And emotionally, we receive a lot of reward in the moment when calling ourselves a victim. It can in fact be very seductive. When we do this, we are giving our power away! But all along, we actually have the power. We have the power to stop giving our power away. It would benefit each of us to start recognizing how easily we slip into this role of victim – so that we can begin to stop this madness and start to take responsibility for our own life and enjoy the power of that. There is freedom in taking responsibility for your life. You are no longer giving your power away.
Taking your power back, requires awareness. Awareness that YOU are putting yourself in the victim role. So, how do you know if you are doing this victim thing?
Here are some clues:
1. You hear yourself complaining.
2. You hear yourself saying “Why is this happening to me?”
3. You hear yourself blaming someone or something other than yourself for something (anything).
4. You are in a job that you are not happy with.
5. You feel like you are frozen in your life. That you are at the mercy of others or situations in your life.
6. You do not trust other people.
7. You don’t have boundaries in relationships.
8. You feel powerless in a relationship or situation in your life.
9. You find yourself comparing yourself to others.
10. You are holding a grudge or grievance or just hang onto some “wrong doing” from your past.
11. You are critical of yourself and/or others.
12. You are unable to ask for what you want or need.
13. Your feelings get hurt.
14. You see the glass as half empty.
If you can say yes to any of these, then chances are - you are playing the victim. The good news is - You have a choice to stop this. You always have a choice. Congratulations! Awareness is the first step!
When you find yourself in this situation, start working on this by trying to create some space by breathing into these feelings. Imagine bringing in healthy energy up from the earth with each in-breath. Create a space that is your space – free from the energy of others. Create a space of empowerment. Once you create some space with your breath, then you can start to take responsibility for your life and your choices. This is not a one and done - It takes practice with each experience.
By creating space, you open up to other opportunities and ways to move forward. Now you can make a new choice - A new conscious choice about how you will respond and move forward. There is power in choice. You have this power!